I want baby boy to be a cowboy

I cried when I found out we were having a boy.

Jay held my hand so tightly that I could feel love and pride emanating from him. His chest was so swelled with pride as we left the ultrasound room that I thought he wouldn't fit through the door.

This is a penis shot, already planning on embarrassing our little man.

I feel overwhelming joy at the opportunity to raise a son. Avery has brought so much happiness to us and I can't believe that we are so fortunate to have one of each.

As I think of raising a son I realize that there is so much that I want for him, so much to teach him and so much to pray for.

~

I want him to be a cowboy.

I want him to know how to bait a hook and start a campfire.

I want him to have dirty finger nails and unruly hair.

I want him to hate wearing a tie, but do it because it makes his mom happy.

 I want him to admire his dad and respect his mom.

I want him to be protective of his big sister.

I want him to be able to stand up for himself, protect himself and to know that his most powerful assets are his words and ability to walk away.

I want him to be a gentleman and to know that when walking with a girl, he should walk on the traffic side of the sidewalk. And to open the car door.

I want him to drink beer and reserve fruity drinks for tropical vacays or Vegas.

I want him to play soccer and basketball, and to understand the art and discipline of jiu jitsu.

I want him to secretly play Barbie and dress up with his sister.

I want him to know how to treat a lady.

I want him to surf.

I want him to work hard at school.

I want him to know that when his dad lectures him it comes from how much he wants to teach him and the unlimited potential that his daddy sees.

I want him to know that if need be, his dad can kick his a$$.

I want him to kiss me goodnight every night.

I want him to know the difference between a military push up and a pilates push up.

I want him to love his country and respect the flag.

I want him to take risks, make mistakes and dream big.

But most of all, I want him to be happy, healthy and know how loved he is.

~

Can't wait to meet you little man. Name to TBA later, but your mommy already knows what it is :)

Post Christmas Par-tay

Last night the Collings Clan trekked out from South OC to the IE for a post-Christmas bash. Holidays can get so busy, but I am happy that we found time to get together.

The men hid in the dining room during dinner to avoid the noise and chaos of the kitchen and family room. When I snapped this pic my dad pointed out that he was in the furthest away seat that he could find and to not tattle-tale on them to the women!

Abbie and Kascia are always fast friends when they get together and these little angels spent some of the evening cleaning my house!! I couldn't believe it, I tried to keep them!

Dylan wasn't feeling very well, so he played with toys and mostly kept to himself. He was such a trooper.

Avery devoured her cupcake, and I was happy to let her make a HUGE mess, it kept her still for a good 10 minutes.

Travis and Kyle literally run everywhere! When the kids were playing upstairs and we heard screaming, Dan and Tricia simply said, "Don't worry, it's our kids." Ha!!!

Avery wasn't sure how she felt about Coco at first, but by the end of the evening they were buddies. This was an amazing experience for Avery, she isn't around kids often and it was her first real lesson in sharing and NOT being the center of attention.

Yes, we welcomed these rugrats into our home and would do it again in a second! I loved the noise and energy that filled the walls and looks of sympathy and apologies on the parents faces. 

At some point in the evening each parent looked and me and said, sorry....hahaha! It was great. My cousin Chad and his wife Kristi bravely or naively (love you) have 4 kids, so when they arrive it's a bus full. The kids were wonderful and truly enjoyed playing together. Kristi has become one of closest friends since marrying my cuz and is the only person who completely understands and is okay with me texting her at 6am!! Isn't the whole world up and running at 6am?!...

No, just me...

Christmas 2011

Christmas this year was magical. I woke up at 3am and could hardly go back to sleep I was so excited for the day. I jumped out of bed at 6am when I heard Avery and was shocked as Jay followed. We carried Avery downstairs and were wowed by the pile of gifts sitting on the coffee table.

Of all the gifts that morning, this purple-Clementine-singing-thing a mig was her favorite. We now hear 'Oh my darling" being sung all day, every day.

We packed up and headed over to my in-laws at 10am. The fun continued, and Avery was spoiled rotten.

Her plasma car from Auntie and Uncle was a huge hit!

Our morning exhausted these two, and they slept on the couch for about an hour together.

At 3pm, we packed up again and headed to Grammy and Pop's for another round of food, fun and presents.

Uncle Jay helped Abbie set up her toy from Grandma and Grandpa. They were drawing together for quite awhile.

The next morning Avery wasn't ready to give up on Santa just yet and walked around the house like this for most of the morning.

Christmas is a wonderful time of year and Avery has just made it more magical.

Jay and I count our blessings and are so grateful for our families. 2012 is around the corner and once again our family will grow. I cannot wait until next year.

Is it Bill or is it Will?...it's both

A week ago a bright, charismatic and hilarious human being was taken from us. He had been a close friend of my husband's for over a decade.

We have spent the last week crying, laughing and remembering Will Townsend. The shock has not worn off yet and at times it feels as if we are speaking of something that could not possibly be true.

The day we heard the news, Jay was a shell of himself. Avery and I visited him at work to give him a kiss and a hug, and he was not himself. That evening he worked to keep his mind occupied, going to the gym, handling household chores, reading, watching TV and avoiding Facebook. I gave him his space.

The next morning we spoke of Will as we got ready for the day. I shared my story of the first time I met Will.

Jay and I had just begun dating and I headed over to Art's house to meet up with him and "meet the boys." I called Jay to let him know that I was out front and before Jay could open the front door all the way to greet me, Will had his arm around his neck and was pointing at me. He kept saying, "Is this her?!" He proceeded to tell me that Jay had been talking about me all night and that he was so excited to meet me. I seriously think he spoke for 3 minutes straight before Jay broke away from his grip, gave me a kiss and said, "This is Bill."

The majority of the evening stayed just like that, Jay and Bill with their arms around one another talking about their love. The exact phrase was, "My brotha from anotha motha."

Bill had amazing energy and was all over the house, but he kept coming back to me. Asking me questions and telling me how much he thought of Jay. Any nerves I had about meeting Jay's friends were taken away by Bill's  genuine interest  in getting to know me and his crazy antics.

I was pulled into the garage to listen to the boys jam. I was cringing a bit, what would I say if they sucked? Jay was on the drums, Amir the guitar, Art the bass and Will took the microphone in one hand, a cocktail in the other. They began playing, and I was shocked, they were good! The biggest shock of the jam session was Bill. He began rapping into the mic and was AMAZING! His lyrics and rhymes blew me away.  I immediately knew that I could not underestimate this guy, he was a seriously intelligent, talented and witty person. As I relayed this story to Jay we were both smiling and laughing. Jay said that there was only one way to describe it, "That guy could flow like a motha fucka!"

Jay reminisced about Bill and their "Friday Afternoon Cocktail Sessions." While Bill was still in Irvine he would go over to Jay's condo every Friday afternoon to have cocktails, tell stories and philosophize. Bill always called Jay, Laser Jay, and to this day, Jay still doesn't know why. I think that is hilarious! When the rest of the group got off of work, Jay and Bill would head over to Art's house to spend the evening in a jam session. Those truly are some of Jay's happiest memories. Him and his boys, at Art's house, having some cocktails and jamming.

My second time meeting Bill was at a bar in LA. I said "Hi Bill!" And spent a few minutes talking with him. As the evening wore on, I realized that a lot of people were calling him "Will." I felt terrible, had I called him the wrong name? I pulled Jay aside and asked, "Is it Bill or is it Will?" Jay just laughed and nonchalantly replied, "it's both."

At the time this made no sense to me, why does he have 2 names? But as I got to know Bill more it became clear. A personality and charisma that big couldn't be called just one name. In every group and every stage of life Will had a unique name or nickname. I have never known anyone who had more nicknames than Will.

The last time we saw Will was at Amir and Ava's wedding. I am so grateful for that amazing evening. I only spoke to Will for a few minutes, but I am so happy that I got to hug him. Will was the life of the dance floor and I'm sure he closed the place down.

From the moment I met Jay and was introduced into this group of friends, I knew how incredibly lucky I was. This is a rare group of kind, loving, intelligent and creative men. There is genuine love, respect and caring for one another. I have always been welcomed and was immediately loved, simply because Jay loved me. Bill's death has left a huge hole in this amazing group.

To Bill,
I wish I could of known you better, I wish I could have known you longer, but I am grateful that I got to know you at all. Your Facebook page and the hole I see in my husband's heart speaks for itself. You truly lived and were truly loved. 

Cheers to you my friend, RIP.

Gamasutra - News - Obituary: DJ Hero Producer Will Townsend

www.gamasutra.com

Will Townsend, a veteran video game producer renowned for his enthusiasm and humor, was tragically killed in a car accident in Los Angeles on Monday night. He was 33 years old.

Townsend is remembered by his friends and colleagues as a creative manager, problem solver and jokester whose spirit and smile were infectious to those around him.
Townsend began his career in game development in 2001, when he scored his first contract testing job at Electronic Arts' Westwood studio. Over the next four years, he transitioned into an assistant producer role, and shipped titles such as Command & Conquer: Generals, Medal of Honor: European Assault and Lord of the Rings: Battle for Middle Earth.
He later moved on to Activision, where he worked on Spider-Man 3 for consoles and handhelds, and oversaw the development of several Guitar Hero titles for Wii and DS. It was here where Townsend became a full-fledged producer, and helped lead the development of the first DJ Hero.
In January, Townsend joined MapleStory publisher Nexon America, where he helped manage the company's social and mobile game operations.
Throughout his career, Townsend was beloved by many of his colleagues, particularly for his optimism and infectious humor.
"I worked with Will at EA during the worst crunch I've ever experienced," Zynga animator Adam McCarthy tells us. "Will was, without a doubt, one of the reasons I was able to keep laughing and having fun at my job during the darkest period of my 19-year career in the games industry."
"His amazing spirit and infectious smile made every day more fun and interesting. I never had a single conversation with Will where he didn't make me laugh."
Beyond his humor, Townsend is also remembered for his superior management skills and business insight.
"He had a knack for the creative, execution, and business aspects of the industry -- all the traits that make a great producer," says former colleague Amir Rahimi, also from Zynga. "He was also the kind of guy that, no matter how serious a meeting, would find a way to make the room smile."
"One thing that gives me solace is that he lived every minute of his life to the fullest. In his 33 years, he probably experienced more than most people do in 80."

Obituary: DJ Hero Producer Will Townsend by Tom Curtis

Things you never wanted to know about me....

~I love country music~

~I think I Love Lucy is the greatest show of all time~

~I eat popcorn almost every night. Not microwave popcorn, popcorn that I pop on the stove myself. Yummy~

~When Avery is being a total grump, I tell her she is just like her dad. When she is being a sweet, joyous little love, I tell her she is just like me...is that wrong? haha~

~I have the dishwasher emptied by 6:15am. When I was practicing this habit in Lake Arrowhead, Jay's sleeping family was a little annoyed by me, oops~

~Wearing lipstick makes me feel better about myself~

~I love the sound it makes when I am wearing high heels~

~Every night I force Jay to cuddle with me, to push him away minutes later. I need my space to sleep~
~I have read the entire Harry Potter series at least 3x~

~When I'm bored at night, I fill shopping bags at my fav online stores. I always have a full cart at Forever21, Kohls, and Amazon~

~Ever since I had Avery my hair has drastically changed, it's so dry and coarse I can only wash it twice a week~

~When pregnant I triple to quadruple my food intake, seriously~

~Every emotion I have is expressed through tears. Happy, sad, angry, excited, frustrated, etc. And often for no reason at all~

~I used to be really good at basketball~

~I wish I was a 1/2" taller~

~I painted Avery's name on the wall in her room before Jay had agreed to her name~

~I pray while exercising~

~I'm a morning person, I wake up a total grump, but have pretty much full energy by the time I have brushed my teeth. I talk so much in the morning, Jay has to tell me stop~

~I don't like milk~

~I secretly watch the Kardashians, Teen Mom and Kendra~

~My two favorite people in the world are Jay and Avery, I am anxiously awaiting meeting my fav #3~

Grumpy Santa

This morning started at 5am and didn't stop. Avery cried the entire morning, with only small moments of happiness. It was a hard morning, I was relieved when Jay made his way downstairs to help with our grumpy baby. Jay and I were both anxiously awaiting Avery's nap time, when I busted out the Santa hat to try to crack a smile.

The hat filled her with smiles and giggles. The hard morning was immediately forgotten as we laughed and snapped pics.

I love this little girl, grumpy or not!!!

Winter Fest at Roosevelt

On Saturday we headed to Winter Fest 2011 at Roosevelt High School in Eastvale. It was a very cute festival.

Avery didn't hesitate for a moment, she practically dove into the snow. Alegra and Skyler joined us for the day and quickly taught Avery how to throw snowballs. Side note: Alegra is playing in the snow in her Toms, what a trooper.

I watched from behind the fenced in snow enclosure. Something about a pregnant woman and rapidly melting snow, they didn't want to let me in!

Avery was a maniac in the bounce house. She was literally running from corner to corner, jumping and falling all over the place. There was a spectacular collision between Avery and our friend Khloe, all Avery's fault!

Alegra and Skyler jumped into the make shift train that was powered by a Rhino. The back car has our friends, Jen & Khloe. Jen is a trooper, 7 1/2 months preggers and jumping on the train, I let Alegra and Sky take over while I snapped pics.

Back in the bounce house, second time around. Avery was pointing and grunting as we passed it, so we had to bounce one more time.

It was a fun day filled with trains, chocolate covered pretzels and kettle corn.

The time must be noted this morning, it is the LATEST Avery has ever slept! I woke up this morning at 5:45am, realized that my little girl's room was silent and didn't know what to do with myself. I got off of the floor, I sleep on the floor, a fun side effect of the pregnancy, and climbed into bed to cuddle with my husband and enjoy my few minutes of extra rest. When 10  min had past and still not a peep from her room, I knew I couldn't stay in bed another minute. So I came downstairs, finished up some dishes, fed the dogs and sat at the kitchen table enjoying my cup of tea.

The few minutes of solitude were enjoyable, but I missed my little grumpers. I thought I needed to mark the moment in time, and was relieved when I heard some soft cries from the nursery just moments after I snapped the pic.

First ipad pic ever...

Skyler taught me how to use my ipad and this is the first pic we ever took, well, Skyler took it.

Grammy's again...

Avery is texting, carrying her purse and pushing her baby in the stroller. Who did she learn this from???? hehe

Splish Splash

This bad hair must come from her father!!

Date night

On Saturday night Jay and I headed out for the first Christmas party of the year. My parents came over to watch Avery, and Jay and I peeled out of the driveway, leaving them our grumpy, teething little girl.

We jumped on the toll road and were in Irvine in less than 30 min, enjoying good food and friends.

When we arrived back home around midnight (a very late night for us), we were shocked to discover that my parents had spent the evening assembling our new desk!

It was no small task. We bought a huge desk! It's bolted together and everything.

Babysitting and furniture assembly all in one, how lucky are we!!!! Thanks mom and dad!
Now Jay and I get to FINALLY organize our office!

What's cookin' good lookin'

At Grammy Pammy's house, I never run out of things to do...

Ca-Dabby

This is Abigail; aka Abbie, Abbie-Ca-Dabby, and Gail (when she is in trouble).

Abbie is my first niece ever, and the first grandchild. This little girl is so incredibly special and we have an amazing bond. When she was very young, she used to tell people that I was her best friend. And when she would get mad at her mom, she would say that she was going to live with me!!

 (Yes, that makes me happy). 

Abbie is very brave. She has been on the Matterhorn, Tower or Terror, Space Mountain and CA Screamin. I was with her on her first Space Mountain ride. I remember being terrified because she didn't make a sound the entire ride. When the ride ended and it was our turn to get off, I picked her up to place her on the platform. As I set her down, her legs gave out. Her mom and I looked at one another in shock, the ride was so intense that her legs were wobbly. Alison  picked her up, we shook our heads and said, "That was maybe too much." We hadn't even reached the escalator when Abbie looked at me and said,

 "Auntie, again??" 

Abbie is very coordinated, unlike her mom (haha), and I think she will be a great athlete. Right now her sport of choice is running. She runs everywhere.

She is 6 years old and half way through her kindergarten year. Time flies. It feels like yesterday that I held her for the first time. We used to do monthly sleepovers, but her family has left the IE and are living in the OC now.  It was as very lucky 2 years that she lived only a 5 min drive away. I will cherish that time. Jay would call me on his way home from work and ask what the plan was for the evening and I would respond, "Abbie."

Abbie's first crush was Uncle Jay. When I was planning our wedding I would tell Abbie that Auntie was going to marry Uncle Jay (yes, we called him Uncle before we were married). She would tell me no, that Abbie was going to marry Uncle Jay. At family get-togethers, when it was time to give kisses bye bye, Abbie would curl into her mom, smile and flutter her eyelashes when it was time to kiss Jay. Adorable. The crush was short lived, after a few weeks she announced that she was no longer going to marry Jay, that she was going to marry a rock instead. Haha, I love this little girl.

Abbie is kind, energetic and a silly goose.

She loves to tell jokes, sing songs and play with her American Girl dolls.

She does karate once a week.

Every time I see her, she is taller, more mature and prettier. I think her parents need to watch out in her teenage years. 

I hope that I can always be one of her best friends. I am excited every time I get to see her and miss her when too much time has past. I look forward to watching her and Avery become friends. 

Avery wears a lot of Abbie's hand me downs and it fills me with joy to watch Avery wear an outfit that I have a memory of Abbie in. On Avery's first Christmas, she wore Abbie's first Christmas dress! My mom and sister squealed when they saw what Avery was wearing.  Too cute!

Abbie, thank you for teaching me how special it is to be an auntie. I love you!  

Mission: Bring Back the Headband

Plan: By using a bottle I will trick her into wearing her headband.

...sigh...

Mission failed.

Ode to Alech & lil Mama

This is Alegra, aka Alechi.

 She is 13 years old and finishing up her 8th grade year. I can't believe she starts high school next year. She loves gymnastics, but when I ask her if she will want to be a cheerleader in high school she adamantly responds, "No!"

She loves clothes and rummaging my closet. I find myself buying her Vans at every birthday and holiday, the crazier the color the better. Her foot is rapidly growing though and pretty soon I will be loaning out shoes. We both have gray Toms.

She is a great student and just won an award from school for achieving high honors.

She loves to sleep and is a night owl! During summer break she stays up til the wee hours and then sleeps until 12 or 1pm!

She is my "go-to-gal" for a date to see the latest Twilight movie. She's Team Edward, I'm Team Jacob.

She once described herself to me as; "People who don't know me think I'm quiet, people who do know me wish I was." Pretty spot on. She was painfully shy when I first met her and barely spoke to me, now I can't get her to shut up!! (That's said with love).

She is a fabulous cousin and spends a ton of time with Avery. She says that she can't wait to meet her next cousin and has called dibs on holding him first!

You're a wonderful, intelligent and goofy young woman. I feel so lucky to say that you are my niece.

This is Skyler, aka: Sky, or Little Mommy.

 I think it was love at first sight for Skyler and Avery. They are inseparable. From changing diapers to giving bottles, Skyler does it all. If I announce that Avery has poop, Skyler comes running to handle the job. Avery has mastered her name and walks around the house yelling for her.  Skyler is responsible for the first ever, Avery giggle.

Skyler loves to play soccer and has a great foot. She is patient on the field and watches for opportunities to make amazing plays. We try to go to all of her games, and I love cheering her on.

She is 10 years old and in 4th grade. Also, a great student, who likes to be on time! She goes to bed early and wakes up well before her big sister.

It took her a little longer to let me in, but now we call and text one another almost daily.

She loves horses, clothes and wearing my lipstick. I am desperately trying to get her to watch Harry Potter with me, but she refuses.

Avery is so lucky to have her for a cousin. They are joined at the hip. Avery follows her around when ever they are together and screams if Skyler tries to set her down. Skyler is definitely going to be my "go-to-gal" for babysitting in a few years. She is an intelligent, kind and punctual little lady.

Alegra and Skyler are wonderful people, and I have enjoyed watching as they become young women. I used to refer to them as Jay's nieces, but now claim them as my own. One of the best things about marrying Jay was these two special little girls!!!
We love you SOOOO much!!
xxoo