My inner crafter

   I am SO not creative. I dream of sewing, crocheting and creating beautiful things, but it's simply a quality that I lack. I do, however, firmly believe that with hard work and dedication you can achieve anything. So I intend to channel that belief, step out of my comfort zone and start creating. With the help of Pinterest, youTube and my mom's sewing machine I hope to teach myself the patience to create with my hands. I have many ideas, but I am extremely task oriented and I want things done and I want them done now. The idea of spending night after night working to create one thing overwhelms me but I am determined.

In our household lately we have been discussing  passion and purpose. How to find your true passion and how to fully live the life that God has intended for you. As Jay and I discuss these BIG topics, I realize that I have found my true purpose, my calling, and it's my children. I always believed that I would be a working mom. When I first met Jay he insinuated that he would like a "stay at home" wife. I quickly told him, that's not me. I want to work in some aspect. The first moment I held Avery I realized how wrong I was. My true purpose is raising my children. I would sacrifice many things for the opportunity to be home with my kids. Not permanently, but indefinitely. I absolutely love being a mom and am incredibly proud of myself for embracing this time in my life. I am constantly researching online, reading parenting books and texting friends for parent advice and strategy. I continually work toward bettering myself as a person and as a parent. It turns out that I have a very clear parenting philosophy and a true love of being home.

With this absolute wanting to be home, I have decided to tap into my inner crafter. There are things that I want, but if I can figure out how to make them myself, spend less and create with my hands, maybe Jay and I can make it a reality.

Project one: Recycle hubby's old t-shirts into hip new workout shirts for me! A simple project that literally only required scissors of me. I spent about 20 min. cut up 3 old t-shirts and now have cute new workout shirts. And some new dust cloths.

I definitely need to improve my hand steadiness, but I'm proud of my first project! And I'm kinda, somewhat, maybe inspired to workout! lol

Doncy

Doncy: an "I Love Lucy" coined term meaning not really sick, but just feeling lousy.

Today I realized how truly beat up I have felt. For 6 months I have not felt myself, easy explanation, I was pregnant. Post pregnancy I felt the same. I didn't want to exercise, which is incredibly out of character, I am a freak who enjoys exercising, and I would find myself playing Sudoku rather than playing with my kids. I just felt doncy.

Last week I woke up at 3am with pain so severe I thought I needed to go to the hospital. I drank some water, did some breathing and went back to bed. I went to the doctor and was told that something was wrong. After ultrasounds and xrays I was told that I have a kidney stone, a "big one."

Monday I had a procedure to blast the stone with a shock wave. I felt beat up and drugged after but find myself recovering well.

Today, I almost feel like myself again. I am used to feeling highly capable and highly energetic. I am hoping that the stone was the root of the problem and that I am on way to feeling like my old self again.  Feeling doncy just plain sucks.

Yes, hubby you can take a pic of without any makeup on...

(Of course, when Lucy felt doncy she was pregnant, I a sure you, that is NOT the case here!)

All that is gold does not glitter,

Not all those who wander are lost;

The old that is strong does not wither,

Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,

A light from the shadows shall spring;

Renewed shall be blade that was broken:

The crownless again shall be king.

 JRR Tolkien

Brenner Boo Boo

Our little man is 3 months old today! We call him Boo Boo or refer to him as our li'l butterball. He is the easiest baby ever. He ate every 3 hours day and night until he was 8 weeks old and then he slept 9 hours straight and has ever since. He smiles constantly, loves to cuddle and we can feel the first giggle coming. He looks just like his daddy but has mommy's skin color, and possibly Grandpa Art's chin. Avery loves to steal his pacifier but runs to his aide when he cries. I'm so excited to watch him grow and to see the brother/ sister relationship develop. We love you Brennie Boo Boo, thanks for joining our family! Xxoo

Communion, Mother's Day and B-Days

So proud of Alegra and Skyler on their first Communion.

Celebrating at Orange Hill.

I always stand out when posing with my in-laws, the tall, white girl in the fam!

Happy Birthday GranMama!

Disney

A lovely Thursday on a carousel with Dad.

 In line for Dumbo.

The fly by

12+ years

I had the pleasure to have the best dog ever! I was 19, living with my parents, in college, working part time and extremely immature. On an ordinary day an unexpected phone call from my sister would lead me to an incredible gift.

I brought Madison home and my mom freaked out. She refused to pet Madison or speak to me for days. That first night my dad walked into my room, pet Madison on the head 3 times, looked at me, shook his head and walked back out. With that, I knew everything would be ok.

It took me a few days to come up with name, Bandit, Trouble (because I got in so much trouble for buying her) and Madison were the top 3 choices. I finally named her Madison and never looked back.

It took my mom a few weeks to warm up to her, but eventually Madi stole her heart like she does with everyone.

Madison was loyal, friendly, an avid ball player, and incredibly loving. For 12+ years she always greeted me with excitement and love. She grew up with me and I grew up with her. She was my first baby.

When I met Jay he told me how lucky he was, that he got a "Super-sized" deal in life, a great girl and a great dog.

I will miss her so much. I am so thankful to have had the pleasure to call her mine. So many memories include this silly crooked leg mutt.

I remember when Jay and I took her to the beach, her fave spot. While Madi and I played ball in the surf Jay hopped on his surfboard and paddled out. I stood there screaming for him at the top of my lungs, when he finally heard me and looked back, he saw that Madison had followed him all the way out! It was also at the beach that I realized that Madi truly would give her life in pursuit of her tennis ball. No wave was too big to sway her from her love of playing catch.

I miss my dog. There is a hole in my heart that is aching with sadness. I miss her fur. She had the softest coat. When she was I puppy I thought the softness of her coat would eventually go away and be replaced with thicker, courser hair, but it didn't, she kept the puppy soft fur. When my hands were cold I would bury them in the thick fur of Madi's neck. I would walk away covered in hair, but it was worth it. If you have asked me in the last 12 years what my favorite scent is, I would answer Madi's ears. Weird yes, but I loved petting her head, smelling her ears and covering her in kisses.

I miss her moans and groans, they sound like home. She would groan as she repositioned on her bed and when she found the right spot, she would let out a long exaggerated sigh.

Madi had the thickest fur coat ever! Constant never ending shedding. I would curse the hair on the floor, but I already miss it. I don't want to clean my floors this morning and watch the hair disappear. I feel bad that I ever complained about having to clean it up. Now, I don't want the hair to go away, each one feels like a treasure.
I miss my stubborn girl, who would cry until she got exactly what she wanted, just like her mom. Her powerful bark that could intimated anyone, that was completely deceptive of the little wuss she was. Her proud demeanor, and the twinkle of love in her eyes. The special expression that only a truly good dog has. One that fiercely loves, plays joyfully and whose family is her world. I love you Madison! Thank you for being an amazing dog and for being my best friend! 

RIP My dear sweet girl
October 17, 1999 - May 7, 2012